Working Capital - Mission Blog

<<Mission Blog Home Posted: 12-12-2016

A man in a Santa hat and tie sits face down on a desk with graphs and papers on it with a glass of whiskey in his hand
Company holiday parties are a unique beast. They tend to bring together a combination of elements that can produce a variety of outcomes. Sure, many are a great opportunity to enjoy a bit of merry making with your coworkers and can facilitate comradery and team building.

But then there are those that are so disastrous they are more akin to pouring gasoline on a bonfire made of evergreen conifer (Christmas) trees. (Not sure what I mean? Check this out.)

Last year we gave you a list of things not to do at the company holiday party. This year we thought we would dive into the stories of what happens when these warnings are not heeded. So we present to you…

Five company party horror stories:

  1. These brownies taste funny…

    A place that I worked at about 8 years ago had a huge party. One of the managers brought brownies and the director of operations (let’s call him Jack) was the first to try them as we were setting up the food table. About half an hour later, as we were finishing up, Jack starts giggling and talking about how tall he feels. The guy that brought the brownies grabbed the wrong plate as he left the house and accidentally brought pot brownies. Needless to say, we gathered as many of the stoners as we could to clear that plate before anyone else got to them and tried to keep Jack away from other management.

    -A Redditor

  2. Silent but Deadly

    I work at a very high-end art gallery, and as such, my co-workers are all very sophisticated. Last year, our holiday party was at an upscale restaurant on the Upper East Side, and they served us tons of delicious, fancy eats — truffle fries, mushroom risotto, duck pâté, that sort of thing. It’s not often that I get such deluxe food for free, so I went really crazy on it and ate far too much.

    But silly me, I forgot there was dancing afterward, so I was forced to hit the floor on a massively full stomach. I was standing around in a dancing semicircle with a couple of my higher-up co-workers, when all of a sudden, I let out a huge silent-but-deadly fart. It was so obvious that it was me, not only because I got all red in the face, but also because the smell was coming directly from my area of the circle. I didn’t say anything, and they were all too well-bred to say anything, either, though they did kind of shift around and awkwardly move away from the stench. I couldn’t look at them in the eye for days afterward — I still get embarrassed to this day just thinking about that party fail.

    -Alicia, an art assistant at Park Slope, via the New York Post

  3. So glad you could make it to the party. Now get to work!

    I was working in a sandwich shop with only six employees. The owner invited all of us to a formal holiday party at his house. I didn’t realize until I showed up – in my only fancy party dress – that I was expected to work the event, serving all the owner’s friends and family!


  4. Too hot to handle

    Let me preface this by saying that my team and I love hot sauces — the hotter and more exotic the better. We collect them and share them around when we find a good one.

    My team went out to a fancy Italian restaurant in the Denver area a few Christmases ago, and one of the guys had gone to a specialty spice store downtown and bought some whole Ghost Chili peppers to use in some chili. He saved one and produced it that night at dinner; daring anyone to eat it.

    Being more on the machismo side of things, one of the other guys accepted the challenge and chomped it down whole. After turning redder than Rudolph’s nose, and having mild hallucinations, he ended up vomiting all over the floor of one of the side server rooms of the restaurant.

    Needless to say many laughs were had by all on behalf of his overestimated pain tolerance, and his Christmas dinner was thoroughly ruined because he said “things didn’t taste right” for several days afterwards.

    -From Business Insider

  5. You’re upper management material

    Last Christmas my coworker (who was supposed to be my designated driver) killed a bottle of vodka without realizing it at the CEOs house. Insulted many people’s gifts to the point of offending people during the white elephant gift exchange. Pulled the CEOs daughter on his lap and face planted into her [breasts]. Hurled in at least 4 rooms of the CEOs house. And kept the CEOs wife up all night scared he was gonna die of alcohol poisoning.

    He just got a huge promotion last month.

    -A Redditor

These are just a few of the countless stories out there of holiday office parties gone awry. And while these stories may be hilarious I think we can all agree we would not like to be the ones stuck in the middle of them. Might we suggest taking the necessary precautions to be the “tame” coworker at this year’s fiesta.

Do you have any crazy holiday office party stories?

Working Capital, Goodwill mission blog author
This article was written by: David Meloy
Marketing and Community Relations Manager

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