Here’s an icebreaker. When you’re attending a social gathering, and you meet someone new, should you ask them what they do for work? 

This is a tricky question because of two factors:

  • So much of our own identity can be tied up with what we do for a living.
  • As a result, we can often form unfounded opinions about someone we’ve just met based on their occupation.

Asking the question can be awkward. What if the person is currently between jobs? Or, what if they are working at a job they do not like but it’s what they currently have to do? While most of us have a “work identity,” how many of us wear that on our sleeve?

Let’s put this another way. Upon meeting someone, would you ask them about their marital status? If they have children? Their political views? These are all personal characteristics that can cloud how you view that person.

This can also be situationally dependent. If you’re at a networking event, it may be difficult to avoid the topic. (Plus, everyone is likely wearing a name tag that may list their company.) Other situations, like a holiday party, can offer built-in icebreakers. 

So, what are some good ways to approach this? First, be a good listener. The art of conversation is about give and take. Here are some questions that could get that ball rolling:

  • Sports are an easy starting point. You could start by asking them what their favorite sport is. Of course, they might not be sports fans. You could then pivot to other forms of entertainment – what TV shows are they binging, for example. Do they have a podcast they’d recommend?
  • Food is always a safe haven. What’s their favorite cuisine? Is there a local restaurant they would recommend? Is a hot dog a sandwich? (Maybe avoid that last one).
  • The goal is to keep things light and (hopefully) fun. What is your current guilty pleasure? If you could pick a superpower, what would it be? Consider turning these around. For example, offer something personal like the above examples. This shows vulnerability on your part and – depending on how they respond – gets the dialog going. 

That said, if you live in the DMV, what you do seems to be perceived as being of increased importance. Some may ask the “What do you do” question as a measuring stick to bolster their own image. This is a power-focused area that thrives on competition.

Think of this another way. Asking someone off the bat what they do is superficial. It can show that you are basing your judgement of them on a “what” and not a “who”.  This is not the healthiest way to begin a relationship.

Remember, meeting new people is awkward and difficult – for everyone. 

Source: https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/plan-for-college/apply-to-college/after-youve-applied/off-to-college-checklist